Live With Passion

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Tips For a First Year Pro Triathlete

It has been a while since I have had the time and experience to share my thoughts of my first year out of college and my first professional athletic season with the general public. It has been a year of highs and lows and what I have learned to realize is that I would rather live an exciting life of highs and lows, given the nature of my lifestyle, than to have a monotone but stable existence.

I will begin with my biggest struggle, that being the divorce of my parents and the ripping apart of the single stabilizing force in my life. My family is everything to me, and though at times I handle this trauma with a sense of acceptance, other times I become very sad and reflect on what could have been. This is something only those close to me know about, however, I feel the responsibility to help others who may be going through the same thing. The dust will settle, just give it time. I promise.
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My first elite season began one year ago in the summer 2016, shortly after graduating Engineering School at CU Boulder. I had unrealistic expectations transitioning into my post-grad life and elite racing. I always had this belief that once I was done with engineering school, life would be easy, I could simply focus on training, and my stresses would go away. What I learned very quickly was that the real world is anything but easy, and the thought of "growing up" overwhelmed me. The real world has its own stresses and this year has been about learning how to manage those stresses and to find a balance between training to be an elite athlete while independently supporting myself, and being the best version of myself.

The learning curve has been and remains to be steep. I went from being a deer in the headlights on the starting line in my first major elite race, The FISU World University Games (which was a disaster), to breaking top 100 in the International Triathlon Union rankings, having a number of top 10 finishes at the Continental Cup level, to finally feeling like I could compete at the elite level and be competitive. I wanted to lay out a few of the many lessons I have learned and continue to learn. I cannot say I have found the consistency yet in my performances (mostly translating my pool swim to open water), but that too takes time and experience. The trajectory is overall upward, so I try to focus on that.

DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS
Some tend to be more confident or act more confident than others. An interesting idea my dad told me the other day was that if you are doubting yourself a lot, why not doubt your doubts? Your thoughts are simply thoughts, not reality, and that is all they are. If you can name them, you can tame them. This is #1 for me.

EMBRACE THE PROCESS
There will be good days/bad days but more often than not it should be a good day. Remember to embrace the process, for success is only a moment of success, a culmination of thousands of hours of work; celebrate the small successes and thrive in the journey. Meet new people, make new friends, and enjoy traveling the world!

MAINTAIN A GROWTH MINDSET
It is critical to maintain a growth mindset, especially when working towards a goal, otherwise you will often feel disappointed or unhappy with yourself. For me, this is something I struggle with and it is critical to remind myself that each athlete has their own trajectory, so it is important to solely focus on your own process-related goals and to trust your coach's plan.

FEEL THE WAY YOU FEEL
Allow yourself to feel the way you feel and don't fight it. Your body and mind are trying to communicate with you, so it is important to listen and to be compassionate to yourself. If you are tired or unmotivated, maybe you need to have an easier recovery session or take a day off. Listen to your body! This means especially to TAKE YOUR EASY DAYS EASY!!!

BE A GOOD TEAMMATE AND FRIEND
Having a positive environment and team is critical to one's overall happiness and longevity. Find a group of teammates, friends, and a coach whom you support one another unconditionally. It is on the hard days that you uplift one another and bring the best out of each other. You need each other, so compete WITH one another not against one another. Trust me, it makes the time at practice and outside of it much more enjoyable :) What's the point of getting on the podium if you have nobody to celebrate it with?! I feel blessed to have the team of people around me that I have in my life.

REMEMBER THE OVERALL JOURNEY
I often forget that I came from a tennis background and that I only began training full-time for triathlon a year ago. It is tempting to often look ahead at where you want to be and to become overwhelmed by how far you still have to go. Remembering how far you have come is a healthy reminder that your past improvement can predict future continued improvement.

EAT LIKE AN ATHLETE
It is important to eat a TON of food, even when you aren't hungry, no matter the circumstances, because this fuel is what enables your body and mind to recover and perform at its best. Give a car poor fuel and it will under-perform. It is not necessary to eat the "healthiest" all the time, for as an elite athlete, sometimes the most calorically dense food is what your body desires and needs.

BE HUMBLE IN YOUR HIGHS, HOPEFUL IN YOUR LOWS
Accept that this journey is not an easy one. Anything can happen on race day and you are allowed to have bad days. After analyzing the top WTS athletes (where I hope to be one day), it became apparent that they too endure the roller coaster of the highs and lows in elite racing. It is critical to move on whether you have a good or bad workout, a successful or unsuccessful race. This is a lesson I have had to repeat from being a tennis player because I never learned it. You miss a shot, move onto the next shot with the same enthusiasm you had when you began. Easier said than done, I definitely know :)

NEVER GIVE UP!
Last but not least is to never give up. I have learned more from my shortcomings than I have from my successes, and I feel that the bad days are what have made me a better athlete and more importantly, a better person. It is the feeling of returning to the start line after a bad race and overcoming, or returning to practice after a sub-par session with the same motivational drive that should empower you.

My season is far from done. I am excited to finish out the Major League Triathlon Series at the Final race this weekend in Cleveland. I am also looking forward to feeling settled at home and putting in a solid training block before some Continental Cups and maybe dipping my toe in the water for my first World Cup this fall :)

Friday, March 31, 2017

Major League Triathlon- 2017

I am honored to have been selected to be one of 32 athletes competing in Major League Triathlon series this year! It is my first season racing at the elite level and I am thrilled for some fast, fun racing with some of the speediest athletes in the country.

A little about Major League: It is the first and only professional triathlon league in the United States. It is a unique format of racing, in which each athlete races a super sprint (300 meter swim, 4 mile technical bike loop, and 1 mile run) before tagging the next teammate. Each team consists of two men and two women. I have been drafted to represent my home state of Colorado on The Colorado Peaks with three other strong, experienced athletes: Paula Findlay, John O'Neill, and Alex Libin!

Feel free to check out Major Leagues' Website and their Facebook Page to follow the series.

Below is the schedule for the 2017 season, and first stop is in Charlotte!

1. MLT Charlotte-Saturday, May 20, 2017

2. MLT Atlantic City P/B The Claridge Hotel-Saturday, June 3, 2017

3. MLT Vail Valley (woot woot!)- Saturday, August 26, 2017

4. MLT Cleveland-Saturday, September 9, 2017

Being a newer athlete on the elite circuit, not many people know my background, so I would like to give an introduction of myself; it is not brief, so grab a blanket and a cup of tea!

I am proud to be a Colorado native, growing up in Denver. I have three sisters, and I am one of triplets :) While most of my competitors were in the pool at age five (or younger), I spent hours hitting a fuzzy yellow ball across a mesh net for hours at a time. I went to Cherry Creek High School and my triplets and I were varsity tennis players there. The only year I played on the team (sophomore) I won an individual state singles title, while my sisters were finalists in doubles. In high school, I finished second in The Copper Bowl National Championships (doubles) and went on to play division 1 tennis at Santa Clara University my freshman year of college.

I was introduced to the sport of triathlon my senior year of high school by a tennis friend, though I didn't begin training intensely until my sophomore year of college at the age of 20. I initially used it as a cross training tool, and I enjoyed being a multi-dimensional athlete. After my freshman year of college, I transferred to the University of Colorado Boulder to earn a degree in mechanical engineering, and I committed to pursue the sport "full-time" (as much as I could with the demands of engineering school). I went from being a complete rookie to winning the USA Triathlon Collegiate Club Draft-Legal National Championships my Senior year.

My first triathlon, in which I wore a waterski wetsuit (which filled with water), sported running shoes in baskets, a swimsuit with bike shorts, borrowed a size 52 bike from a friend, and wore a camelback...this was a sprint triathlon :-p

Collegiate Nationals 2016

Because I am relatively new to the sport (at least at the elite level) my goal is to continue an upward progression of improvement, getting stronger in the water, on the bike, and in the run. Learning how to swim late in life at the age of 20, has created its own challenges. My main goal is to make every stroke count, developing the right technique in the water so I can swim to the ability of my aerobic engine. I am committed to working hard day in and day out, and my motivation is to find long-term consistency; therefore, I can be the best athlete I can possibly be.

My strength in the sport is the tenacity I have developed, coming from a tennis background; when you are on your feet for 3+ hours, the court temperature is 120 degrees, the rubber on your shoes melting, your legs are cramping, and you're in the final set, it comes down to who wants it the most. Interesting fact about my athletic background before triathlon is I moved away from home at the age of 13 to pursue the sport professionally. I was homeschooled on and off for two years, and I lived and trained with the Hungarian Federation National coach until the age of 15. I learned the value of hard work at a young age, and this skill continues to propel me forward in all aspects of my life today.

When I am not training, I like to enjoy the simple things of quality time with others, cooking with friends, hanging with my sisters, exploring the outdoors, trying different foods/restaurants (I am a huge foodie!), solving engineering problems, and reading a good book. I currently work as an engineer for Keysight Technologies, one of the world's leading companies for manufacturing test and measurement equipment; most of my time outside of training is filled with working to support my lifestyle :)

I currently live and work in Colorado Springs, Colorado. My favorite place to train is in the Garden of the Gods Park in Colorado Springs. It is only five minutes from the office, so I enjoy exploring the endless trails for running, and embracing the technicality of the roads for riding in the park. I love the thrill of pushing beyond my comfort zone, ripping corners, and building my overall strength as a cyclist on the climbs. I also love the peacefulness of riding the country roads out in Fountain, Colorado.

Through triathlon, I have been fortunate enough to travel to some pretty amazing places including Switzerland, Argentina, and Cuba. I am definitely a people-person, so I love having the opportunity to meet new people, learning about other cultures, trying new foods, and taking on the challenge of performing in an unfamiliar environment.

It is difficult for me to put a time stamp on my racing, for triathlon has become such a lifestyle for me. I think realistically I can see myself racing through my mid-thirties, however, once I have a family I would like to ensure I have the right family/life balance. I am a competitive person by nature, so I will most likely always be competing in some fashion :)

If I could offer advice to someone looking to enter the sport it would be to join a club (or college team if in college), have fun, don't take yourself too seriously, embrace the relationships you make along the way, and be patient. It can take years to develop as an athlete, so keep showing up, make good habits, and take your easy days easy!

After I am finished racing in triathlon, I would love to continue in the engineering/management field and serve as a mentor to young girls pursuing engineering and sport. I hope that through my life experiences, I can guide young girls and women to embrace their development professionally and athletically with a growth mindset.

Given the diversity of the Colorado Peaks, I believe through intelligent tactical choices and hard work, we have the ability to bring home the Major League Championship this season.

In the interim, I will keep training with purpose, put in the work every day, and ensure that every swim stroke, stride, and pedal stroke counts.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Post Grad Adulting and Triathloning

Wow, a lot has happened since I graduated in May! I moved to Colorado Springs (leaving behind my triplet sisters), I started my first professional job, and I began my first season racing triathlon professionally. It was my first time living apart from my triplet sisters. We have been inseparable my whole life and they are the single force that keeps me the most grounded in my life. If it weren't for my triplets (Alexa and Caroline) my amazing big sister (Dani) and my parents, there is no way I would have had the faith to push through engineering school the way I did; there were definitely a handful of days when I considered switching majors. As driven individuals, we seem to believe that once we achieve a certain goal we have laid out in front of us then we will be happy and all else will fall into place. I was thrilled to have achieved the goals I had worked for for my four years, but with that achievement also came the thought of "what now?" The entire process was quite anticlimactic and I was unprepared. I no longer had the structure I had lived in for the past seventeen years of my life.

My beautiful sisters (from left): Dani, me, Caroline, Alexa

The transition from being a college kid to a young adult proved harder than I thought. Becoming independent and trying to support oneself, while being an elite athlete is no easy feat. The Olympic Training Center environment also intimidated me from the get-go, which created another challenge. During my college years I enjoyed the team environment I had and the fact that we were competitive, but we had fun and didn't take ourselves too seriously; this environment helped take the pressure off me, given my type A perfectionist personality. Leaving the CU Tri Team, whom I can call family, was one of the toughest transitions I faced. I feel so blessed that my best friends to date were friends I made on the team. Go Buffs!

My graduation party: friends from CU and my sisters Alexa, Caroline, and Dani

Apart from my PEAK Multisport teammates, I only knew a few athletes at the Olympic Training Center, and that feeling of home that I had developed at CU was the last thing I felt here when I first arrived. The environment seemed too intense for me, and it was not until recently that I started to feel that I fit in.

My first two elite races this summer were a disappointment. I was swimming well in the pool, but it was not translating to the open water and my results suffered. I think the learning curve is steep when moving up a level in anything, and it definitely takes time to have the confidence to execute in the new competitive environment. During this time I questioned everything: my decision to move to Colorado Springs, leaving my closest friends in Boulder, giving up full-time job offers, and pursuing the sport professionally. Maybe I wasn't cut out for this...

As our team underwent some changes and I switched my focus from being an obsessive triathlete to being an overall well-balanced individual, we started to see positive improvements. I accepted a job offer at Keysight Technologies as an engineer and program manager this August. I am very fortunate that they are supportive of my goals and are allowing me to work part-time, flexible hours. This job has been one of the most balancing forces for me, and I truly enjoy going to work each day because of the amazing people I get to work with. Being able to shift my focus away from triathlon when I am not training has given me the balance I needed. I began to thrive in the new environment, and with the much-needed balance I was able to be the best sister, daughter, teammate, engineer, friend, and athlete I could possibly be.

Through the highs and lows, I have become closer with my teammates and my Coach Ken Axford, and for this I am truly grateful. I am also fortunate to have the best roommates, whom I feel are like my second family now. I have re-learned how to not take myself too seriously, and I am glad to be able to go home to an environment where triathlon is most certainly not the center of our conversations.

The roomies (and Stephen) on Halloween

Teammate, Tyler Evans and Coach, Ken Axford after climbing Gold Camp Road

This fall I went on to finish second place at the USA Triathlon Elite National Championships, only losing by eight seconds to Abby Levene and edging out Sarah Alexander by one second. It was a fun, fast race which ultimately came down to the run. This was the first race since I got here that I swam to my potential and it showed. After the race, my friends and I explored New Orleans and we had a blast learning about the culture, eating beignets, and dancing.

USAT Elite Nationals Podium

Exploring the French Market with Tyler Evans, Abby Levene, and Collin Chartier

My last race of the season was the CAMTRI American Continental Championships in Buenos Aires, Argentina. It was sort of a last minute decision to race, but I am glad I committed. I went into this race with the goal of a top 10 finish, and finished 7th to achieve that. I love to travel, but going to a foreign country where English is not spoken commonly can make things difficult. I did my race prep the best I could, but it was a hectic weekend overall. I arrived at the race with an ear infection, so in a way I was actually glad they canceled the pre-race swim recon :-p
During call-down to the race, my swim cap ripped, but I didn't allow it to phase me. I exited in the third group with two other girls who were luckily just as strong as me on the bike. I made the rookie mistake of dropping my electrolyte bottle on the first lap of the nine-lap bike course and this cost me. I had one other bottle of water, which instead of drinking to hydrate, I poured on myself to cool down (rookies mistake)! We worked together, pounding the pedals for just around an hour, but we failed to catch the lead pack. I ran as hard as I could in the moment, moving from 11th place to 7th, but suffered greatly from dehydration (and sun poisoning due to another rookie mistake :-p) so unfortunately I could not run to my full ability and bonked by lap three of four on the run. I wanted to DNF during the run, but I did not allow myself to do so; It gives me confidence that given the circumstances I was still able to achieve my goal and that I can hang with these girls who have years of experience over me. I am also so thankful that my mom took the time to come to this race with me. Having her there at my first continental championship and being able to share the experience with her (and the amazing food) was unforgettable. I also need to thank her for taking care of my sun burn and for only saying "I told you so once." :-p

I feel that I have finally settled into this new rhythm of lifestyle, and I am glad that I made the decision to pursue the sport professionally. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I no longer feel the rush of being result-oriented right now. Celebrating the small successes along the way, enjoying my training, and loving my team and coach are what keep me going. Having a growth mindset is key in the world of professional athletics. Working towards growth each day, enjoying the process of meeting such incredible people and pushing our bodies beyond what we think is capable, are what make the journey worth it. We have now put together my schedule for the 2017 season I am thrilled to be competing in my sophomore season as an elite. Cheers to many more races, difficult training sessions, mistakes, successes, and failures! Big thank you from the bottom of my heart to my sponsors for continuing to believe in me and for supporting me: Aqua Sphere, Infinit Nutrition (Ryan Good), and Swiftwick.

Buenos Aires CAMTRI Continental Championships start

Mom and I in Buenos Aires

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Last Time 'Round-USAT Collegiate Nationals 2016

Wow, five years done! Crazy to think I went into college, thinking I was going to be a division 1 tennis player my four years...

I have had a week to soak in my experience at Collegiate Nationals this year, and regardless of the place in which I crossed the finish line, this last race experience with my CU Buffaloes was unforgettable. For the first time since I arrived in Boulder four years ago, I was able to find some consistency in my training, only missing two sessions since February leading into nationals. I felt myself finally relax and really enjoy the friendships I have not only on the tri team but also within the engineering school, which kept me from taking myself too seriously as I have in the past. Going to class is soooo much better when you know you will be sitting with your friends. Like triathlon, I made this a fun social gathering, even though thermodynamics isn't always my topic of choice to discuss in gatherings :-p Thank you Shawn Sprinkle, Tyler Smyth, Brian Atkinson, Niki Barney, Thomas Lund, Mitch Klein, and Henry Knutzen for always making me laugh. Remember that time we made a drill powered bike? That was pretty cool I think.

From the left: Tyler, me, Shawn, and Henry

I had a different approach with my training this time around. Don't get me wrong, I worked my butt off, but I really made an effort to enjoy the hard sessions and to work with my teammates. On days when I woke up tired, I would sleep in and move my morning sessions to the afternoon. My focus was on quality not quantity.

There were countless number of practices when I simply wasn't feeling it, was overwhelmed with school or life stress, and on these days I allowed my teammates to pull me through. Senior Design, which is a year-long project in which you work with industry along with my other classes, made this year busier than expected; however, with meticulous planning, meal prepping every Sunday, discipline with trying to get adequate nutrition and sleep, I somehow made it happen while maintaining a social life. My friends are a huge part of my life, and they have really helped me get through times when I maybe felt overwhelmed the past couple of months. Kasia Rasker, thank you for being my best friend in the world, and for always being there for me no matter what. I seriously talk to you more than I talk to my family!

My girls from left: Sara, me, Skyler, Kasia

Day 1 was the Draft Legal Championship race. Going in I knew this was a FISU (World University Championships) qualifier, and after losing the championship by only 10 seconds last year, I wanted to improve on that. I had a solid swim, coming out in 8th place in around 10 minutes; I am rarely top 10 out of the water, but I have worked a lot on my swim this winter. My group had some trouble working together on the bike, and into the second or third lap, I made the decision to make a move. I bridged up to the next group and luckily had Kelly Cosmo to work with. We came off the bike around 50 seconds down from Erica Ackerland, a strong cyclist from Montana who rode solo the whole race. I had visualized this happening, so I didn't panic; I knew what to do. I trusted that my run fitness was adequate and stayed calm, despite the deficit. I was slowly gaining on her, but I ensured to stay patient so I wouldn't blow up. Before going into the second lap of the 5k run, I managed to catch Erica, ran into the lead, and held the lead. Lots of emotions crossing the finish line as memories of these past four years flooded my mind. High fives and hugs all around from not only my teammates, but my friends on other teams. This is why I love this sport; Not only quality athletes but quality people. I won't forget one of my closes friends and teammates, Scarlet Kaplan crying at the finish line as I crossed; that's a true friend there. I love you so much Scarlet!


This pic says it all :)

me and my freshies: Ryan Sotebeer, Heidi Stimac

Me and Kelly Cosmo on the run

Day 2 was the non-draft Olympic distance race followed by the mixed team relay. I knew my fitness was the best it has been in college, however, I was awake most the night before the non-draft race with diarrhea and muscle cramps, probably due to residual fatigue of the past few months of engineering school. I was nervous on the start line, not knowing whether my body would allow me to finish that day. Long story short, it was a very painful race, and I pushed through muscle cramps, doubt, and fatigue to finish 5th on the day, surpassing my goal of a top 10 on day 2, and helping the CU Buffaloes to our 7th victory in a row. Huge congratulations to my friend Erica Clevenger for the overall win!!! Later that afternoon was the draft legal mixed team relay race. With nothing left in the tank, I decided to simply have fun and go for it in my last collegiate race. All of us were exhausted, and our nerves were already gone from the previous races, as we joked on the start line. I had a good leg of the race and gave our team a 30 second lead. Ouch, 17 minutes of sprinting after 3+ hours of hard racing in 2 days! In the end we finished 4th, but it was such a fun, fast race!

Me and Scarlet Kaplan before the Olympic Distance race start

Through this experience I was reminded of how strong the human body, the mind, and the spirit is. I watched this video the other week from the US Navy Seals about the 40% Rule. The 40% rule says that at that moment when you think you have nothing left, you are only 40% spent, and therefore have 60% left in the tank. Through my experiences, I am learning that this is true.

Mixed team relay= shear pain!

Mixed team relay

Yes our team won, and yes I won an individual national championship, but it is not only the result that will be remembered; it is these past four years of the grind through engineering school and training, days when I suffered and cried because I wanted to give up or was beyond exhaustion, the team camaraderie and some of the best training sessions with the CU Tri Team, and all the amazing lifelong friendships I am blessed to have made on this journey.

Me and Coach Dave Sheanin

CU Boulder coaches (From left): Leigh Dodd, Brad Seng, Dave Sheanin, Henry Winterbottom. I love you guys!!!

Huge thank you to my parents for flying out to watch me and for helping me prepare for back to back racing, the rest of my family (Alexa, Caroline, Dani, Julia), the amazing coaches here at CU Boulder (Brad Seng, Dave Sheanin, Leigh Dodd, Henry Winterbottom), Ken Axford, my classmates, the CU Mechanical Engineering Department, my teammates, and my dear friends. Love you all and can't wait to experience this next chapter together! CU Boulder- Graduating Class of 2016!!!

Buff for life

Skoooooo Buffs!!

Friday, October 16, 2015

Crashing Without Burning

It was a sunny day on July 15th. After morning swim practice I went out to do my pre-race bike workout, performing loops close to home, on some of the smoother roads in Colorado Springs (Cascade and Tejon St.). I was looking forward to racing in Denver that weekend in a small local race in front of my friends and family; most importantly I was doing this race for my Auntie Julia who was set to move back to Budapest, Hungary a few days later. No words can do justice to what a positive influence this woman has been in my life.

I was sitting in my aerobars on my TT bike, lost control somehow, then hit the pavement head first. I remember briefly waking up in the ambulance, my fingers and toes were tingling from hyperventilating for an extended period of time; the tears streaming down my face as I cried uncontrollably, and then it all went black again as I fell into shock. I came to in the hospital, staring up at the bright lights passing above me, like the black line passing me in the bottom of the pool, as they wheeled me in for scans.

I became somewhat aware of where I was, feeling constrained by the neck brace I was locked into, and the heaviness of my body holding me down to the bed; I couldn't move much, and it was difficult to speak. I was naked under a pile of sheets, my right eye beginning to swell shut, and the pain all over my body becoming more prevalent. I glared down at my right hand and my pinky was fully-dislocated, pointing out in a 90 degree angle; I realized the whole right side of my face and body were bloody and covered in road rash. I closed my eyes, praying this was only a nightmare, only to learn that this was reality.

I spent the next week bedridden in a dark room at home in Denver with family. It was hard to eat, for I had nearly bitten through my lip. This combined with the pain in my finger and post concussion symptoms were what produced many sleepless nights. During this time, I realized what is really important in life; for me that is my family and my friends. My parents, my sisters, and my Auntie Julia traded off hand-feeding me during that first week. Looking back, it was amazing the patience they showed, as it often took me over an hour to eat a single meal. It was incredibly frustrating! All I wanted was a cheeseburger, but my mouth was so swollen and painful that all I could handle was baby-sized bites of mashed banana, yogurt, and potatoes. This time reminded me how much my family means to me, and my love of each member of this family is unconditional.

This experience reshaped my way of thinking. I have learned how to rest and repair my mind, body, and soul through meditation, painting, and simple alone time. I learned the importance of taking care of myself as an athlete and a person, and that it is okay sometimes to slow things down, and take time to ourselves. I am thankful for my teammate, Max Bennett for showing me what bravery and resilience is as he was recovering from an accident as well, and he showed me much compassion during this time (and how to eat a ridiculous amount of bacon mac n' cheese).

I realized how quickly everything can be taken away from you. I had lost nearly 10 lbs in the few weeks while recovering from the crash; I endured frustrating physical therapy sessions where I had to retrain my brain to balance my body and try to rebuild muscle mass after losing all I had worked for over the summer. I also began seeing a hand therapist, in which I passed out in her office because of the excruciating pain from the dislocation and torn ligament in my finger. These experiences were real; the trivial things I worried about up until the crash were exactly that... trivial. I stopped striving for perfection and began aiming for improvement. This mentality is what has helped me come to almost a full recovery and I am back at it training and motivated to race again!

I returned to school at The University of Colorado Boulder this fall to finish up the last year of my undergraduate degree in mechanical engineering. Because of my academic workload, training has been up and down, but I am enjoying the friendships I am continuing to make, and my CU Tri Teammates have kept me optimistic in the recovery process. Thank you boys for not feeling sorry for me and for pushing me past my breaking point in our group rides, forcing me to be brave and overcome much fear. Also, big thanks to sports psychologist and good friend of mine, Will Murray, for helping me through this process and for buying me a cheeseburger to celebrate after I rode one hour easy with you before the last race, averaging close to 14 mph :)

I have learned not to compare myself to others for each of us has a story incomparable to another. I no longer moan about waking up early to squeeze in a 6am swim because that's the only time my class schedule allows me to do it; I am appreciative that I get to do what I love, even if it's at 6 in the morning! I have also realized my ability to eat an insane amount of Cosmos pizza and campus food without worrying how it will impact my training the next day. I have stopped focusing on the small details, and have began focusing on what's important. I have also learned that gosh darnit, smile as much as you can because it's painful when you can't!

I have let go of the fear of failure, and instead have embraced taking the road less traveled, for that is what this entire journey is becoming.

I am thankful for my Coach Ken Axford for sticking by my side, continuing to elevate me as an athlete and person, as we have been rebuilding my fitness and strength for a few months now, my friend and fellow competitor Brooke Saunders for offering advice and constant support, my friend Jeremiah Mitchell, teammates, teammates' parents, and my housemate, Joe Umphenour for being there for me in one of my most vulnerable times.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

Until next time. I'll see you at the start line!